Lyrics & Parodies
by SoliloGuy039
Summary: A collection of lyrics I made up either to match an instrumental song, to be an English version of a non-English song, to make something political, or just for the lulz.
1. Be A Link (Legend of Zelda)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I made a few months ago (based on "Make a Man (Out of You)" from Disney's _Mulan_ ). I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(Zelda)**  
 _Let's get down to business_  
 _To defend Hyrule_  
 _I asked for a hero_  
 _Did they send me fools?_  
 _You're the saddest bunch I've ever met_  
 _But you can bet before we're through_  
 _Mister, I'll make a Link_  
 _Out of you_

 _Graceful as a Zora_  
 _And strong as Gorons_  
 _In our time of darkness,_  
 _You wil bring the dawn_  
 _You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot_  
 _And you haven't got a clue_  
 _Somehow, I'll make a Link_  
 _Out of you_

 **(Toon Link)** _I'm never gonna get a break_  
 **(Ravio)** _Please don't take away my money_  
 **(Ocarina Link)** _Why did I choose to snooze for seven years?_  
 **(Narrator)** _How much more can our hero take?_  
 **(Linkle)** _Hope she doesn't see right through me_  
 **(Young Link)** _Now I really wish I brought my bunny ears_

 _Be a Link_  
 _You must be brave like the man in green_  
 _Be a Link_  
 _With all the strength of a desert lord_  
 _Be a Link_  
 _With all the brains of a ruling queen_  
 _Mysterious as the hidden Master Sword_

 _Time is racing toward us_  
 _Cia's on her way_  
 _Get yourself in order_  
 _Or you'll die today_  
 _You're unsuited for the rage of war_  
 _So pack up, go home, you're through_  
 _How could I make a Link out of you?_

 _Be a Link_  
 _You must be brave like the man in green_  
 _Be a Link_  
 _With all the strength of a desert lord_  
 _Be a Link_  
 _With all the brains of a ruling queen_  
 _Mysterious as the hidden Master Sword_


	2. Keep Your Shirt On (Team Fortress 2)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I made a few years ago based on Simon Curtis' "Fell in Love with an Android." If you haven't heard his songs yet, I highly recommend them. Since this is a duet, parts where two characters sing different things at the same time will look like " Character Name A / Character Name B."

I hope this is to everyone's liking!)

* * *

 **(Scout)** _Hey, Miss Pauling, you got_  
 _me really falling, but I_  
 _don't wanna be just_  
 _another name in your registry._  
 _I just wanted to see if_  
 _my looks would be enough_  
 _to win you over._  
(Though it's obvious they already have.)

 _I want you more than the other team's Intel._  
 _Why cap points when we could get along so well?_  
 _You hang out with the Administrator, I'm told._  
 _Did she teach you how to be so cold?_  
 _I'm not a Sniper, girl, but I can see_  
 _your eyes say you want it, so come with me_  
 _You're hot and single while I'm hot and not a "doom-cough"_  
 _Since I'm sexy, have you seen me with my shirt off?_

 **(Miss Pauling)** _How deluded are you?_  
 _You are so secluded from re-_  
 _-ality, you_  
 _can't even do your job for Mann or TeuFort Industry._  
 _Scout, I've said it before._  
 _Leave me alone. There's the door,_  
 _so go._  
 _What makes you think I'd ever like you?_

 _You should be capturing the other team's Intel._  
 _Stop playing games and fire bullet shells._  
 _Mann sent you to cap the briefcase, I'm told._  
 _You're only putting your own team's mission on hold._  
 _What're you thinking is not what you see_  
 _In case you hadn't noticed, I just don't agree._  
 _I suggest you go before I send you back to Respawn_  
 _And for the last time, I don't care, so keep your shirt on._

 **(Scout)** _Oh, you're a hot miss_  
 _Work that dress_

 **(Miss Pauling)** _This is just ridiculous_  
 _You just can't impress_

 **(Scout)** _I want you more than the other team's Intel. /_ **(Miss Pauling)** _You should be capturing the other team's Intel.  
_ **(Scout)** _Why cap points when we could get along so well? /_ **(Miss Pauling)** _Stop playing games and fire bullet shells._

 **(Miss Pauling)** _Mann sent you to cap the briefcase, I'm told._  
 _You're only putting your own team's mission on hold._

 **(Scout)** I'm not a Sniper, girl, but I can see / **(Miss Pauling)** What you're thinking is not what you see  
 **(Scout) Y** our eyes say you want it, so come with me / **(Miss Pauling)** In case you hadn't noticed, I just don't agree.

 **(Scout)** _You're hot and single while I'm hot and not a "doom-cough"_  
 _Since I'm sexy, have you seen me with my shirt off?_

 **(Scout & Miss Pauling) **_Why can't you see this like I do?  
_ _Nothing that I'm saying is reaching you._

 **(Scout)** _You hang out with the Administrator, I'm told._  
 _Did she teach you how to be so cold?_

 **(Scout & Miss Pauling) **_Do I have to turn this into a plea?  
_ **(Scout)** _Listen to me now and love me, P. /_ **(Miss Pauling)** _Listen to me now and leave me be._

 **(Miss Pauling)** _I suggest you go before I send you back to Respawn_  
 _And for the last time, I don't care, so keep your shirt on._


	3. D-M-D Adventures (Dramatical Murder)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I made a few years ago based on the Tiny Toons theme song. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 _We're tiny, we're toony,  
we're all a little loony,_  
 _And in this yao-toony, we're invading your PC!  
_ _We're comic dispensers,_  
 _Our dicks need all the censors,_  
 _On D-M-D adventures, get a dose of smut and glee!_

 _So here's Midorijima, it's a whole wide world apart  
Our home sweet home, it stands alone, as anime and art!  
_ _Our scripts weren't rejected,_  
 _Our penises erected,_  
 _Our DmD adventures is about to start!  
_

 _They're cuties, they're sexy,  
_ _They're Aoba and they're Ren-y,_  
 _Toue's richer than Pepsi,_  
 _And Morphine's full of trash!  
_ _There's Mink and he's weary,  
_ _Clear is very cheery,_  
 _Koujaku's teary,_  
 _And Noiz is really rash!_

 _At Platinum Jail, we break in to stop Toue and his crew  
That piece of poo has done taboo since two-zero-one-two!_

 _We're tiny, we're toony,  
we're all a little loony,_  
 _It's DmD adventures, c'mon, it's real rad!_

...

 _And Mizuki's just sad._


	4. Belle (post-2016 US election)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote after the 2016 election based on the opening song, "Belle", from Beauty and the Beast. This is 100% political so if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing, please ignore this "chapter."

Anything _italicized_ is singing, while anything that isn't is spoken.

* * *

 **(Belle)** _America  
It's a giant nation_  
 _A new day_  
 _Since November 8th_  
 _America_  
 _Full of little people_  
 _Waking up to say…_

 **(Homophobe)** Hail Trump!  
 **(Rich person)** Hail Trump!  
 **(Rapist)** Hail Trump!  
 **(Ableist)** Hail Trump!  
 **(Racist)** HEIL HITLER!

 **(Belle)** _There go the racists with their bright red ballcaps  
The same old white text lines that say:_  
 _"Make our country great again"_  
 _For the rich and White straight men_  
 _Who think only of themselves_

 **(Misogynist)** G'morning, Belle!  
 **(Belle)** Good morning, sir.  
 **(Misogynist)** Going to the kitchen?  
 **(Belle)** No. I just finished watching the news. They say Hillary had the popular vote while Trump had the electoral—  
 **(Misogynist)** Whatever. Just go and make me a sandwich.

 **(Female Trump supporters)** _Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no question.  
Too proud of herself, can't you tell?_  
 **(Female Trump supporter)** _Got her on my blacklist._  
 **(Male Trump supporter)** _I bet she's a feminist._  
 **(Trump supporters)** _No denying she's a nasty bitch, that Belle!_

 **(Neighbor)** _Hello!_  
 **(Racist)** _Hey, ******!_  
 **(Neighbor)** _I fucking hate this._

 **(Male Trump supporter)** _Hey, ***!_  
 **(Transgender person)** _Fuck off._  
 **(Male Trump supporter)** _You're powerless.  
_ **(Young adult)** _I feel_  
 _unsafe!  
_ **(Mike Pence)** _Are you not gay yet?  
_ **(Belle)** _We've got to fix this horrid, shitty mess!_

 **(Friend)** Hello, Belle!  
 **(Belle)** Good morning! How're you doing today?  
 **(Friend)** I'm all right. How're you?  
 **(Belle)** Not too well. I heard some horrible things on the way here.  
 **(Friend)** Oh gosh, I'm so sorry.  
 **(Belle)** Yes…wait, how'd you get here?  
 **(Friend)** How—How'd I get here?  
 **(Belle)** Well, look outside: racists, misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, abelists...they're everywhere.  
 **(Friend)** If it helps, you can look up "notmypresident" on Twitter.  
 **(Belle)** On Twitter?  
 **(Friend)** Yeah. Go check it out.  
( **Belle)** Thank you! Thank you very much!

 **(Male Trump supporters)** _Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar._  
 _I think my dick is gettin' swell_  
 **(Female neighbor)** _Did I really just hear that?_  
 **(Male Trump Supporter)** _It's just how men like to chat._  
 _It's okay for us to say that about Belle!_

 **(Belle)** _Oh, isn't this amazing?  
All over the internet, I see_  
 _Love and support and praying_  
 _For all the Muslims, disabled, and L-G-B-T_

 **(Female Trump supporter)** _Now it's no wonder that her name means "beauty"  
Her looks have got no parallel  
_ **(Male Trump supporter)** _But she really ain't that smart  
_ _With that lib'ral-bullshit heart  
She's different from the rest of us  
_ **(Neighbors)** _She's different from the rest of us  
_ _Yes, different from the rest of us is Belle!_

 **(Advisor)** For the last time, you can't just nuke geese out of the sky!  
 **(Trump)** I know.  
 **(Advisor)** If you paid attention, you'd see why everyone hates you.  
 **(Trump)** Don't be silly. They all love me—and I've got my eyes set on that one.  
 **(Advisor)** That young lady?  
 **(Trump)** She's the one: the lucky girl I'm going to marry!  
 **(Advisor)** You're already—  
 **(Trump)** The president of America!  
 **(Advisor)** What does that—?  
 **(Trump)** That makes me the best—and she obviously wants the best.  
 **(Advisor)** This is why we took away your Twitter…

 **(Trump)** _Right from the moment I saw her bumpers_  
 _I said she's gorgeous and I fell_  
 _In the States, there's only she_  
 _Who's as beautiful as me_  
 _So I'm making plans to grab that pussy, Belle!_

 **(Women)** _Look there, he goes_  
 _What is he doing?_  
 _That Donald Trump_  
 _That ugly cur._  
 _Hold on, right there._  
 _Isn't he stalking-_  
 _You get your slimy paws away from her!_

 **(Anti-Trump voters)** _Whoa, there!  
Look out!  
What the—?  
Was that—?  
That's Donald Trump?  
Leave her alone!  
Get back!  
Fuck you!  
_ _Ew, gross!_  
 **(Trump)** _'Scuse me_  
 **(Anti-Trump voters)** _Hashtag love wins!_  
 **(Trump)** _I'LL SUE YOU ALL!_  
 **(Anti-Trump voters)** _His hair…  
His hands…  
It's fake.  
They're small!  
_ _You're not my president!  
_ **(Belle)** _We've got to change this post-election life!_  
 **(Trump)** _Just watch, I'm gonna get my seventh wife!_

 **(Anti-Trump voters)** _Look there she goes, that girl is strange but special,  
A friend for those stuck in this hell,  
Keep your hands away from her,  
You orange shit-fucker,  
There may be hope for all of us  
There may be hope for all of us  
There will be hope for all of us  
And Belle!  
Love wins!  
Black Lives…  
Love wins!  
Love wins!  
_ _Black Lives matter!_


	5. Stop the Trump! (post-2016 US election)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote after the 2016 election based on "Stop the Bats!" from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This is 100% political so if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing, please ignore this "chapter."

* * *

 **(Antifa)** _That Donald Trump will give you a fright_  
 _Ruining lives both day and night!_  
 _There's homophobes out—racists, too_  
 _And he let 'em all free to hurt me and you!_

 _He doesn't care about Muslims  
_ _nor P-O-C's_  
 _'cept getting his tiny hands on some moneys!_

 **(Alt-Right)** _Now wait just a minute:_  
 _there's another side to this._  
 _When Obama won the nation,_  
 _Come on and reminisce:_  
 _The Republicans didn't the protest the vote_  
 _The Democrats must relax and take note_

 **(** **Antifa** **)** _Oh, gimme me a break, you should've heard  
They called him fake and the N-word_  
 _Just look at the news four years ago_  
 _They looked at his skin and called him a foe  
_ _Look!  
_ _Wake up!_  
 _They don't know how to act_  
 _Now Trump has won and they're out to attack!_

 **(** **Alt-Right** **)** T _hat's where I must ask you to see_  
 _The beauty of democracy_  
 _Where your voice is loud and clear—  
_ **(** **Antifa** **)** _They didn't listen and kicked us in the rear!  
_ _He's big_  
 _And ugly_  
 _And mean as sin_  
 _Will you look at the state_  
 _our people are in?_

 **(** **Alt-Right** **)** _He'll help us all_  
 _He'll make jobs ev'rywhere_  
 **(** **Antifa** **)** _He's getting rid_  
 _Of our Medicare!_

 **(Hispanic woman)** _Well, I for one don't have a doubt, that Donald must be stamped right out_  
 **(Disabled man)** _I second that, he's gotta go, that Trumpster's gotta hit the road_  
 **(Antifa)** _It comes down_  
 _To just one simple fact_  
 _He's crossed the line, it's time to fight him back_

 **(Everyone but the Alt-Right)**  
 _Stop the Trump_  
 _Stop the Trump_  
 _Throw him out into the dump_

 **(Antifa)** _It comes down_  
 _To just one simple fact_  
 _To protect those we love, we'll fight him back!_


	6. Welcome to DC (post-2016 US election)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote after the 2016 election based on "Welcome to the Show" from My Little Pony: Equestria girls. This is 100% political so if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing, please ignore this "chapter."

Anything _italicized_ is sung while anything that isn't is spoken.

* * *

 **(Trump family, Mike Pence)** _Welcome to D.C.  
The year's two-oh-sixteen  
Our time is now_  
 _Your time is running out_

 _Kill the immigrants.  
Kill their confidence._  
 _Those who disagree,_  
 _You'll soon bow down to me!_

 _We will be adored  
Tell us that you want us_  
 _We won't be ignored_  
 _It's time for our reward_  
 _Now we lead you_  
 _We don't need you_  
 _NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW_

 **(Protestors)** _Oh, whoa  
_ _Stay strong and stay together!  
_ _Oh, whoa  
_ _We're here to stand and fight for LGBT,  
_ _The Muslims and disabled and the P-O-C  
_ _The one and only thing  
_ _That I am here to bring  
_ _is love, is the love  
_ _is the love within my soul_

 _Let it all out (out!)  
Don't stay inside, yeah!  
Let it all go (go!)  
_ _Show off your pride, yeah!  
_ _Feel the love within your heart!  
_ _Don't let hatred make you start  
_ _to tear  
_ _yourself  
_ _Apart!_

 **(Trump)** I WOULD have you all leave here in stretchers…but I've got a better idea.

 **(Trump family, Mike Pence)** _What we've got in store  
All we want and more_  
 _No more peace for you_  
 _Now it's time to murder you!_

 **(Single Protestor)** _You're never gonna bring me down  
You're never gonna break this part of me_  
 _My friends are here to bring me 'round_  
 _Not bowing to your presidency_

 **(Protestors)** _We're here to let you know_  
 _That we won't let it go_  
 _Our nation is for love and we will make it grow_  
 _Just try and dictate_  
 _But there is no debate that love will conquer hate!_

 _Got the freedom in our hearts  
We're gonna blow this thing apart_  
 _And together, we will never_  
 _Be afraid of the dark_

 _Here to show off all our pride  
'cause our spirit hasn't died_  
 _And together, we'll forever_  
 _survive_  
 _Survive!_

 _Got the freedom in our hearts  
We're gonna blow this thing apart_  
 _And together, we will never_  
 _Be afraid of the dark_

 _Here to show off all our pride  
'cause our spirit hasn't died_  
 _And together, we'll forever_  
 _survive_  
 _Survive!_  
 _SURVIVE!_


	7. Shadow Link (Four Swords)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote last year or so based on the opening to Spongebob Squarepants. Anything italicized is sung while anything that isn't is spoken. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(Captain)** ARE YA READY KIDS?!  
 **(Kids)** Aye-aye, captain!  
 **(Captain)** I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUUU!  
 **(Kids)** Aye-aye, captain!  
 **(Captain)** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **(Captain)** _Who's gonna give up his life saving his friends?_  
 **(Kids)** SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
 **(Captain)** _A villain turned hero who helps in the end?_  
 **(Kids)** SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
 **(Captain)** _If sadness and sorrow be something you wish_  
 **(Kids)** SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
 **(Captain)** _Then drop on the floor and crack like a dish!_  
 **(Kids)** SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
 **(Captain)** READY?!

 **(Captain, Kids)** SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
SHA-DOW LI-INK!  
SHA-DOW LI-INK!

*shouts of "SHA-DOW LI-INK!" eventually devolve into screaming and crying*


	8. In the Darkness Tonight (Four Swords)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote last year based on "At the Opera Tonight" from Repo! A Genetic Opera. Anything that looks like "(Character Name A) / (Character Name B)" means two people singing at the same time. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(ZELDA)** _I must be brave_  
 _Come, come, what may_  
 _Can I be saved?_  
 _Is there a way_  
 _In the darkness tonight?_

 **(VIO)** _I've made my peace_  
 **(SHADOW)** _No chance for peace_  
 **(VIO)** _I hold no grudge_  
 **(SHADOW)** _I'll end this grudge_  
 **(VIO)** _Red, Blue, and Green_  
 **(SHADOW)** _Red, Blue, and Green_  
 **(VIO)** _Shadow, forgive me_  
 **(SHADOW)** _Your blood will spill_  
 **(BOTH)** _In the darkness tonight_

 **(GREEN)** _Where's the force?_  
 _Where's the glow?_  
 _What was that?_  
 **(TINGLE)** Nothing, oh!  
 **(GREEN)** _There's the force  
_ _I'll get_ -WHOA!  
( **TINGLE** ) This is mine!  
( **GREEN)** _Hey, let that go!_ / **(TINGLE)** _I won't let go!_

 **(VAATI)** _Tonight I will be king  
_ **(BLUE)** _Tonight the swords will swing  
_ **(VAATI)** _Monsters will take wing  
_ **(RED)** We can do this thing!  
 **(VAATI)** _Screams will ring  
_ **(BLUE)** _My sword will sting  
_ **(RED)** _Goodness will sing  
_ **(BLUE & RED)** _Hope is what we'll bring_ / **(VAATI)** _Fear is what I'll bring  
_ **(VAATI)** In the darkness tonight

 **(CHORUS)** _Four Heroes  
_

 **(SHADOW)** _In the Darkness tonight_

 **(VIO)** _Three Heroes, I'll play my part_

 **(GREEN)** _In the darkness tonight_

 **(VIO)** _Three Heroes, my part_

 **(ALL)** _In the Darkness tonight!_


	9. I'm On a Train (Spirit Tracks)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote nearly a decade ago based on "I'm On a Boat" by the Lonely Island. Anything that's italicized is sung and/or rapped while anything that isn't is spoken. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(ZELDA)**  
Oh, shit!  
Get your coal ready, we're about to move out!  
Everybody in the place hit the fucking floor,  
but stay on your motherfucking toes!  
…wait, I'm a ghost.

 **(LINK, ZELDA)**  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _Everybody look at me 'cause I'm riding on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin' train!_

 **(LINK)**  
 _I'm a train, motherfucker, take a look at me,_  
 _straight driving my cool train through the forest green!_  
 _Going real fast, wind whipping through my mane._  
 _You can't stop me, motherfucker, 'cause I'm on a train!_

 **(ZELDA)**  
 _Take a photo, Ferrus._  
 _I'm on a train, bitch._  
 _We beating Phantoms, champ, 'cause it's so crisp._  
 _I got my spirit flutes and my partner ready._  
 _I'm beating bad guys, you at 'Doba, being fucking lazy._

 **(LINK)**  
 _I'm riding on a boar, ramming rocks and plants,_  
 _this monster's crashing, makes ev'rybody shit their pants!_  
 _But this ain't Rabbit-Land, this as real as it gets._  
 _I'm on a train, motherfucker, don't you ever forget!_

 **(ZELDA)  
** _I'm on a train and_  
 _it's going fast and_  
 _I got an engineer boy, Royal Hyrule-an!_  
 _I'm the queen of the world, on a train with a hero._  
 _If you're walkin' around, then you a poor li'l bimbo._  
 _Get the fuck up!_  
 _This train is real!_

 **(LINK)  
** _Fuck feet', I'm on a train, motherfucker!_  
 _Fuck home, I see the world, motherfucker!_  
 _I'm in the car with a royal, motherfucker!_  
 _This train engine make noise, motherfucker!_

 **(ZELDA)  
** _Hey, Cole, if you could see me now,_  
 _arms spread wide as we travel 'round!_  
 _This here train is kick-your-sorry-ass-bound._  
 _With the Spirit Tracks,_  
 _anything is possible!_

 **(ALFONZO)  
** _Yeah._  
 _Never thought I'd be on a train_  
 _on a great, green, rickety plain._  
 _O Spirits, look at me, oh!_  
 _Never did I even guess_  
 _that my student would pass his test._  
 _I really must confess:_  
 _I FUCK FIREBOXES!_

 **(LINK, ZELDA)  
** _I'm on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _Everybody look at me 'cause I'm riding on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _I'm on a train!_  
 _Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin' train!_

 **(ALFONZO)**  
 _Royalty…_  
 _Royalty…_  
 _Yeah..._


	10. Walpurgisnacht (Puella Magi Madoka)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote nearly a decade ago based on "At the Gala" from My Little Pony. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(MADOKA)** _Walpurgisnacht!_  
 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(KYUUBEI)** _Walpurgisnacht,_  
 _in the city,_  
 _I'm going to see them all._  
 _All the new girls,_  
 _they're here on Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _All the contracts,_  
 _all the souls_  
 _with wishes big and small,_  
 _they will fight for me forever_  
 _on this Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _All our dreams will come true_  
 _on this Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(KYOKO)** _Walpurgisnacht,_  
 _I will eat them,_  
 _all the apples and Grief Seeds._  
 _Beat the Witches_  
 _and the Magi,_  
 _while munching on some sweets._  
 _And I'll steal a lot of money_  
 _for this solo Magi!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _All our dreams and our hopes from now until here after,_  
 _All that we've been wishing for will happen on Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(SAYAKA)**  
 _Walpurgisnacht,_  
 _The orchestra,_  
 _They'll meet the blue Magi._  
 _They'll see that I'm a hero this Walpurgisnacht._  
 _I will find him,_  
 _My Kyosuke,_  
 _and he'll play a song to me._  
 _He will treat me like a lady,_  
 _on this Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _This is what we've been waited for: to have the best night ever._  
 _Each of us will live our dreams_  
 _on this Walurgisnacht!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(HOMURA)** _Been dreaming, I've been waiting  
_ _to fight alongside Magi.  
_ _The Magi fight and become wick—  
_ _-ed as the labyrinth clock ticks.  
_ _The time repeated thousands,  
_ _Cut destiny's grim bindin's,  
_ _Fate will bow down to me  
_ _on this Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)**  
 _All we've longed for all we've dreamed, our happy-after-ever-after,_  
 _finally will all come true on this Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(MAMI)  
** _I am here at Walpurgisnacht  
_ _for it is a gathering,  
_ _but the one thing it was missing was a Magi named Mami.  
_ _For I am the best at parties, all the girls here will agree.  
_ _Magis fighting, Magis baking,  
_ _with me on Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _Happiness and joy on Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht!_

 **(MADOKA)** _Walpurgisnacht,_  
 _as a Goddess_  
 _is where I'm going to be!_  
 _I will save my fellow Magi_  
 _From the darkness that they've seen._  
 _It is going to be so special,_  
 _as I rewrite history!_

 **(PREVIOUS MAGI)** _This will be the best night ever!_

 **(EVERYONE)** _Walpurgisnacht, we must go,_  
 _we're ready and we're all aglow!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht, let's go in_  
 _and beat the worst witch ever!_  
 _Walpurgisnacht, now's the time_  
 _where Energy is in its prime!_

 **(EVERYONE)** _Walpurgisnacht!_  
 **(KYUUBEI)** _Meet new girls!_  
 **(EVERYONE)** _Walpurgisnacht!_  
 **(KYOKO)** _Eat some apples!_  
 **(EVERYONE)** _Walpurgisnacht!_  
 **(SAYAKA)** _Find my prince!_  
 **(HOMURA, MAMI)** _Prove I'm great!_  
 **(HOMURA)** _and save her this time!_

 **(KYUUBEI)** _To meet…_  
 **(KYOKO)** _To dine…_  
 **(SAYAKA)** _To find…_  
 **(HOMURA)** _To prove…_  
 **(MAMI)** _To cake…_  
 **(MADOKA)** _To wish…_

 **(EVERYONE)** _On Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _On Walpurgisnacht!_  
 _And we'll have the best night ever!  
_ _Walpurgisnacht!_


	11. B-L-U Rock Anthem (Team Fortress 2)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote a few years ago based on "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(Everyone)** B-L-U!

 **(BLU Pyro)** Huh!

 **(BLU Heavy & BLU Medic) **Go!

 **(BLU Soldier)** ATTACK!

 **(BLU Engineer)** _B-L-U is gearin' up tonight  
_ _All you mercenaries have a good time  
_ _Get ready now, it's time t' fight  
_ _B-L-U is gonna win this time  
_ _B-L-U is gearin' up tonight  
_ _All you mercenaries have a good time  
_ _Get ready now, it's time t' fight  
_ _And the REDs are goin'…_

 **(BLU Pyro)** Huh-huh!

 **(BLU Demoman)** _On the bridge, gottae go  
_ _Sticky-up the place, you gonna blow  
_ _Yer all RED lassies, ye should know  
_ _Ye call yerselves killers? Yer dead, so no.  
_ _The RED Demo, that drunk cyclops  
_ _with his shite scrumpeh, he bettah stop  
_ _before I get te point or RED's Intel  
_ _and the RED Demo?_ HE'LL BE IN HELL!

 **(BLU Scout)** _Yo!  
_ _I'm runnin' through your base for that case,  
_ _I got ya beat in any race, can't catch me in the chase  
_ _We B-L-U!  
_ _Yeah, that Scout on RED has got nothin' on-  
_ _me: I'm a natural BLU Badass from Boston!_

 **(Engineer)** _B-L-U is gearin' up tonight  
_ _All you mercenaries have a good time  
_ _Get ready now, it's time t' fight  
_ _B-L-U is gonna win this time  
_ _B-L-U is gearin' up tonight  
_ _All you mercenaries have a good time  
_ _Get ready now, it's time t' fight  
_ _And the REDs are goin'…_

 **(BLU Pyro)** Huh-huh!

 **(BLU Soldier)** _Everyday I dominate_

 **(BLU Sniper)** _Push that cart  
_ _While I snipe that RED wanker through the heart  
_ _This is takin' all damn day  
_ _Now stop: where's my pay?_

 **(BLU Heavy)** _Where ist mein Heavy?  
_ **(BLU Medic)** Here, Doktor! _  
_ **(BLU Medic)** _Freund, stay close to me_  
 **(BLU Heavy)** Da, Doktor!  
 **(BLU MEDIC)** _I am fully charged  
_ **(BLU Heavy)** RED has tiny gun _  
_ **(BLU Medic)** _Start the übercharge!  
_ **(BLU Heavy)** NOW IS TIME TO RUN!

 **(BLU Spy)** _Move up, move down  
_ _Sap RED sentries all around  
_ _Move up, move down  
_ _Sap RED sentries all around  
_ _Move up, Move down  
_ _Sap RED sentries all around  
_ _Move up  
_ _Sap RED sentries all around  
_ _All around  
_ _Sap RED sentries_

 **(Everyone)** _B-L-U is gearin' up tonight  
_ _All you mercenaries have a good time  
_ _Get ready now, it's time t' fight  
_ _B-L-U is gonna win this-this-this-this time  
_ _Whoa_

 **(BLU Spy)** _Sap RED sentries_

 **(Everyone)** _Whoa..._

 **(BLU Pyro)** Hudda-hudda huh!

 **(Everyone)** _Whoa..._

 **(BLU Spy)** _Sap RED sentries_

 **(Everyone)** _Whoa..._

 **(BLU Pyro)** Huh-huh!

 **(Soldier)** _Everyday I do-dominate_

 **(BLU Engineer)** _B-L-B-L-U  
_ _B-L-B-L-_

 **(BLU Demo)** Aye...

 **(BLU Engineer)** _B-L-B-L-_

 **(BLU Scout)** Whoo!

 **(BLU Engineer)** _B-L-B-L-U  
_ _B-L-U_


	12. What Administrator's Telling Me (TF2)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote a few years ago based on "What My Cutie Mark is Telling Me" from My Little Pony. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(Scout)** _Dese patients just won't listen_  
 _No, not one li'l bit_  
 _Dey bleed an' puke outta control an' throw deir hissy fits_  
 _It's up t' me t' fix 'em_  
 _'Cause plainly you can see_  
 _It's gotta be my destiny_  
 _An' it's what Administratah's tellin' me_

 **(Medic)** _I try to hold zis gun and kill ze people in zis place_  
 _But zis gun, I cannot lift, it seems I'm only a disgrace_  
 _I have to carry Sascha, it's zhere for all to see_  
 _It's got to be mein Destiny_  
 _And it's vat Administrator's telling me_

 **(Heavy)** _I do not like to build robot and making gun I'd rather not!_  
 _No matter what I try, this wire will not get out of this knot!_  
 _I have many sentries to build, it is no fun for me_  
 _But it is Heavy's destiny_  
 _It is what Administrator's telling me_

 **(Engineer)** _Looky here at what I made: I think it's a disguise_  
 _I know that it's just painful, it ain't even the right size_  
 _Could y'all gimme a hand here_  
 _and help me make these lies?_  
 _My destiny, it ain't pretty_  
 _but it what's Administrator's tellin' me_

 **(Spy)** _I'm in love with running swiftly, but my colleagues hate me so_  
 _Ze enemies, zey catch me as I take the Intel and go_  
 _I have to keep on trying_  
 _for everyone can see_  
 _it's got to be…  
_ **(Medic)** _It's got to be…_  
 **(Heavy)** _My destiny…_  
 **(Engineer)** _My destiny…_  
 **(Scout)** _And it's what Administra—_

 **(Everyone)** _It's what Administra—_  
 _Yes, it's what_ _Administrator's_ _telling me_


	13. We're RED and BLU (Team Fortress 2)

**Author's Note** : This is a song parody I wrote a few years ago (when Mann VS Machine was first announced) based on the latter half of "Beelzeboss" by Tenacious D. Anything that's _italicized_ is sung while anything that isn't italicized is spoken. I hope this is to everyone's liking!

* * *

 **(BLU Medic)** _Zere's just no way zat we can win against Grey's army_  
 _Zey fight too well because he's watched us for too long_

 **(RED Heavy)** NO, DOKTOR!  
 _They will take away Mann Co_  
 _They will take away our jobs  
_ **(BLU Medic)** Nein…!  
 **(Heavy)** _But we can break these giant robots into pieces_

 **(BLU Demoman)** _Lads,_  
 _we've been through so much here_  
 **(RED Engineer)** _Like the Spy sappin' sentries—  
_ **(RED Scout)** We know, Engineer.  
 **(All except BLU Soldier)** _Now it's time to take this fucker down!_

 **(RED Scout)** _C'mon guys, now it's time t' take Grey down_  
 **(BLU Soldier)** Men?  
 **(RED Engineer)** _I hear ya, boyo, now it's time to take Grey down_  
 **(BLU Soldier)** This is WAR.  
 **(RED Scout)** _Hey robots, bring it: we'll kill ya in dis showdown!_  
 **(BLU Soldier)** THERE IS NO SINGING IN—!  
 **(BLU Demoman)** _Don't hide behind yer toys, come face us in this town!_  
 **(BLU Soldier)** Oh, fuck it.  
 **(All)** _Now we've got to take this fucker down!_  
 **(BLU Demoman)** _Me magn'sium chloride will blow ye and yer bots down!_  
 **(RED Engineer)** _Go on, sentries, take those goddamn robots down!_  
 **(Grey)** _This can't be happening! This was supposed to be my town!_

 **(BLU Soldier)** _You will rue this day,_  
 _you wrinkly maggot!  
_ **(RED Engineer)** _Get off our turf now,_  
 _go on an' git!  
_ **(BLU Demoman)** _Ye made a mistake, ye_  
 _and yer tin-cans!  
_ **(RED Scout)** _We'll beatcha, Grey, an'_  
 _your fucked-up plans!_  
 **(BLU Medic)** _We'll make Versuchsperson_  
 _out of you!_  
 **(RED Heavy)** _We're not just anyone:_  
 _we're RED and BLU!_

 **(ALL)** _We're RED and BLU!_


End file.
